I'm already grieving for both you and Zach. You will get through this but it's going to hurt like hell. Just don't doubt yourself. Zach will soon be painfree and he will pass feeling loved and well cared for. He's had the best life any guinea pig, or for that matter, any individual could hope for - a good home, good things to eat, people who genuinely cared about him, unconditionally. He's going to be ok. I worry about you, though, having experienced all of this not too long ago. Give yourself permission to rant and scream at how unfair this all seems. Allow yourself to remember and weep for what you've lost. But, I hope you ultimately find some peace. You have done everything humanly possible for this little guy. Feel good about that. Know that some day, you and Zach will find your way to each other again. And until then, he'll be with you in spirit. I am so terribly sorry, I wish I could be there to hug and comfort you.