Today feels so much longer than a day. I've been on an emotional roller coaster. Since posting my tribute, the fam and I went out to dinner to celebrate Baozi's life. My Dad called it a wake. We talked about the good times and how much we loved her. And everyone loved Baozi. In a way, I think my 'rents might be taking the loss as hard if not harder than I am.
I miss her so much. Sometimes I forget that she's gone, and little things remind me--no WHEEK WHEEK when I walk in the room with a snack (Baozi could never quite understand that she can't eat human food) and only one pig waddling over when dinner is served (Baozi would run across the cage like a rotund little cheetah; Ace just waddles). Seeing Ace all alone in the cage feels so lonely and I feel so sad for her. I've been giving her extra cuddles and put her on the bed tonight to sit with me while I watch my shows. I think she will sit with me every night, and maybe she will feel less lonely.
Ace seemed more interested in noms, naps, and cuddles than the show
Sometimes I'll feel OK and then something will remind me of Baozi and I'll go into a crying jag. I was putting away all the syringes I used to feed her and just lost it. I will probably be doing that for a while. I don't know if it hurts so much because I had her for such a short time or because we tried so hard to save her, but it wasn't enough.
The holidays will be bittersweet because she never had a chance to spend them with us. But I will remember her. I will think of her. She will be with us in spirit. We all loved you so much, Sweetie girl.
I hope that with time, the crushing sense of loss will fade and when i think of little Baozi, it will be with fondness, remembering the happy times and the joy she brought. She was such a special little piggy and I feel blessed have known her, even for such a short time.
Thank you everyone for your help and support through all this.
You put it so well, what we all, I am sure, feel . . . . I sincerely hope that one day you can look back and be happy for the time she was with you, because that was the best bit of life for her!
- Supporter in '17
I am sooooooo sorry Pigwidgeon that you lost little Baozi so soon in her life. I am sure you and Ace are feeling so lost without her but atleast she isn't in pain any longer.
You did an awesome tribute to her and she knows her Mommy loved her and did all she could for her. Our fur babies hold a very special place in our hearts!!
I miss her so much. The worst is the moments when I forget she's gone. When I bring Ace her breakfast, I bring enough for two pigs (Ace will eat it all anyway). Last night I almost sliced two pieces of cucumber for a treat. I'm so used to fixing two of everything, and it's hard to get used to only one.
I have to adjust in other little ways. Baozi's demanding wheeks always reminded me when the pigs were due for a treat, but because Ace isn't talkative, I have to remember to bring them for her. I take Ace out every night for cuddles and she's so placid she will sit with me on the bed for about an hour, napping and munching hay, before she starts tugging on the puppy pad which means she wants to go back to the cage. Poor little Ace seems so lonely in that big cage by herself. I considered putting a stuffed toy in there for her but I was afraid she'd nibble off its eyes or something, lol.
I made a video tribute to help me remember Baozi the way I want to remember her--when she was healthy, happy, and full of life. It has helped to ease the pain of her loss, I think. Now when I think of her, I smile, because she brought me so much joy in life and now she is finally at peace.
Here is a link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6mBXThZlWM
Ace pig says hello:
- Supporter in 2014
It's good to hear you and Ace are doing okay. Hugs to you both.
It's tough isn't it?! I can't even face posting a tribute yet to my Toki. It doesn't seem right yet.
A stuffed toy may be a good idea for Ace, and the cuddles will be very much appreciated.
I'm not sure if it's too early to think about getting her a new friend to live with.
I'm not been able to watch the video as I'm at work, but I will as soon as I can.
- Supporter in '16
I am no expert, but I know that Snickers was bummed and lonely immediately after Charlie's death. He was way more cuddly and clingy and chewed on the bars etc. I liked the cuddly, but it wasn't fair to leave him lonely because I liked being snuggled! So we got Ouiser just over a week after Charlie died. I don't think pigs philosophize as much as we do: they just know [friend here] or [friend not here].
Making my video actually helped me in a way. I watch it every day to remind me of my sweet girl and how much joy she brought into my life. I only had her for nine months, but it feels like so much longer yet so much shorter at the same time. I thought she would be with me for years. :'(
I have considered getting a friend for Ace sometime in the future, but it won't be for a while because of... well, it's a long story but essentially my Mom is taking Baozi's loss very hard, does not deal with grief very well, and has become vehemently anti-pet these days. Even though I am theoretically a grown adult and it's ultimately my decision, since I live here, I'd really rather let some time pass and hopefully she will be more reasonable.
My Dad and I have reached the point of focusing on the happy times with Baozi and celebrating her life, but my Mom is still fixated on the end of her life and will not stop obsessing over it. I tried to get her to watch my video (since it helped me) but she refuses. I really don't know what to do for her. I suggested a grief counselor but she refuses that too. But I think her approach is really unhealthy and is keeping me from moving on, too. I don't know that I can ever forgive myself for not being able to save Baozi, but nobody could have loved her more than I did, and that will have to be enough. I have to come to terms with it somehow, and my Mom's reaction is making that difficult.
I know some of you here have lost your piggies. Do you have any advice for me?
I still miss Baozi so much. I still am afraid that I will forget all the little details of her I remember so clearly now. I'm glad I recorded so many videos of the pigs while I ramble on in the background about all the little things they do. Those videos will be what keeps Baozi's memory alive. Nothing will ever replace her. A new piggy will be just that--a new little life to care for and love. But Baozi will always be special and she will always be my Sweetie girl, and I will never forget that.
- Supporter in 2014
In the end I just got another piggy without their "permission". Mum accepted it, but things were usually a bit tense with my dad for a few days/weeks, then he got over it.
I don't suggest you to do that though.
I can only suggest that you keep trying. Tell your mom how you feel and how it would help both you and Ace if there was another piggy around.
There's a link of GL somewhere (I think) about grieving, it might be worthwhile printing that out and passing to your mom to read. It's very unhealthy to ignore it. Grieving sucks but we all have to do it. I hate breaking down over Toki but it happens (I'm filling up typing this) and we need to let it happen so we can move on.
It's especially tough the first time. If I mention my first pig, Gordy, to my mum I can guarantee she'll say "He was the best" and she always gets sad.
Good luck pigwidgeon, and hugs to you, Ace and your mom.
I feel that it would help my grief (and Ace's) to adopt a new friend, but my Mom is being a major thorn in my side. Do you guys think Ace will fare OK being a lone pig for a while? I figure the only way she'll ever get a friend is if I a) move out or b) just get the pig anyway and deal with my Mom being angry for weeks, both of which can't happen until I work something out. So far, I've been giving Ace extra cuddles and having her sit with me every night while I watch TV or work on the computer. I was also going to put a stuffed toy in the cage for her.
My Mom is not a rational person so rational discussion is right out. I know, I've tried. She's not going to come around.
Right now I am looking for ways to move out as soon as possible, which is difficult since, you know, I lost my job. I might end up leaving the country (teaching in South Korea looks appealing, since I'll have a job and apartment provided for me, and I don't want to stay here) and am working out the logistics of taking my piggies with me. My piggies are one of the few sources of joy in my life right now and I don't want to give them up, particularly since when I leave, I'll be in a foreign country with no one I know and no other support system. One of the things I looked forward to most after graduation was pet ownership and I don't want to put it off further. I've seen people on the board travel overseas with piggies so I know it's possible.
So yeah everything is kind of a mess right now so if anyone has any advice or suggestions, it'd be much appreciated.
- Supporter in 2014
I hope your Mom can see sense soon.
I am 200% done. I'm moving out as soon as I can find a new job, which seems extremely bleak at the moment. I'm just sorry poor Ace has to suffer in the meantime. I underestimated the depth of my mother's delusions when I first adopted the pigs and thought that if I took full responsibility for them, both financially and care-wise, that I would be treated like an adult. Turns out I was wrong. After all, getting a new friend for a social animal isn't looking out for an animal's welfare, it's being a weak and spoiled child/getting myself a present!
I'm so furious right now I can't even type anymore. I need to go play a violent video game or something. Jaycey, thanks for your reply.
I tried to come up with a positive intent: perhaps she believes you are so full of grief that you've decided to avoid that grief by masking it behind the joy of adopting another pet. Perhaps she did not like to see you fighting with Baozi only to lose her. I'm really not sure but it is quite difficult to realise if what she is saying is what she means or if she's trying to come up with a "good" reason which isn't the true reason. I can understand your frustration, though.
I hope you're able to find a resolution to this. If it helps, if Ace is still eating well and you're spending time with her she won't suffer from being alone for a while.