I understand it is traditional to pay a visit to a certain Mr Santa Paws type person at this time of year.
My invaluable advice would be to go and see him as soon as possible so you can give him all your special requests nice and early. Although why this request process differs from my usual daily talk to Mummy, I do not know.
Here I am all nice and comfy, having a quiet word in his ear. It does seem unusually pesky piggy free and peaceful around here.
Dear Santa Paws, I need you to organise three tons of organic carrots, a few dozen extra juicy cucumbers, plenty of mixed lettuce leaves, a 100 bales of your finest meadow hay, 126 jolly cosy beds, 253 cuddle cups, two lawns worth of munchy leaves of the greenest ever grass . . . and . . .
Whoooa there. What on earth caused that soft furnishings related earthquake?
Oh, I might have known.
Do keep still, Pixie, I haven't finished my very important discussions with the beardy one yet. In fact I'd hardly even got started with my basic essentials Christmas 'must have without fail or else there will be big bother', wish list.
Oh Pixie, I appreciate that all this talk of food may be making you peckish, but do stop nibbling his beard.
Now, where was I?
Oh yes, can you please also organise a very, very, very big sack of cereals, a few 1000 bunches of juicy dandelions . . .
Sorry Bear, yes I do appreciate that you have been extraordinarily patient and everything, but I haven't finished. We haven't even posed for a Christmas Card type family photo portrait yet.
Pixie, that may well be your 'best side', but I do have to finish my list.
Have I missed anything important do you think?
DAAAADY! Do something about Pixie - NOW!
She's going? About time too!
Watch where you're pointing that rear end Pixie.
Err, I feel I should warn you Fairy, a certain rather rotund type Bear is about to invade your space.
Oh good grief. What bear faced cheek! Get this furry mountain out of my ear!!!
Oooofh! There are times when a well mannered little Fairy just can't take any more - DAAAADDY!
Order! You've got to hand it to him!
Come on you two, it's time for our official Santa Pawtrait, gather round NOW.
Pixie, what are you up to? OH! Well, you should have thought about that before we started.
Oh for goodness sake you two. Lets get the portrait thingy over and done with and then I can get back to making my demands, er requests, of that Mr Christmas type Santa Paws person.
Everyone say 'Salad'!
Yes, I know tinsel is itchy - serves you both right for being so obstreperous?
Now where was I? Oh yes, 245 blankies, 126 tasty nibbles incase of emergency hunger pangs between snacks . . .
And why, I hear you all asking, does one little Piggy need all these provisions and treats? Well I want them delivering to all the Guinea Pig Rescues and Communities who help my furry friends all around the world, so that Piggies less fortunate than us can be helped to have a nice life too.
A very Happy Santa Paws day to you all, may it be filled to brimming with Fairy-Magic!