Help after euthanasia

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Leeah07

Post   » Tue Apr 25, 2023 5:00 pm


Hello, last Wednesday I had to euthanize my 5 year old male guinea pig Thistle. It's the first time I have had to decide to euthanize something and it's haunting me. It keeps me awake at night. I feel so guilty even though it was best for him. I had been nursing him back to health for 2-3 months and instead of getting better, he just kept gaining new illnesses. By the time I euthanized him he had an eye infection, ear infection, upper respiratory infection, an issue with blood circulation that caused the tips of his ears to fall off, sores on his feet (doctor said they were basically bed sores), peeing straight blood, and somehow he dislocated his leg. This all started with an eye infection and needing most of his teeth trimmed. All those horrible things make it sound like I was the worst piggy owner ever, but I swear I was doing everything I could. I hand fed him critical care to help him gain weight and get him more fiber, I got oxbow vitamin c treats, oxbow joint treats, benebac, dr said to put antibiotic ointment on his feet, I would rinse his eye with a safe saline solution then wait 45 minutes and gave his eye meds, gave oral antibiotics, gave ear drops and pain meds. I think he went to the vet 5 times in 2 months. I had mono on top of all of this. I chose to take care of him instead of myself because it's all I had the energy to do. I cleaned his cage and fluffy bed twice a day. It was a Guinea dad liner so it was comfy for him. I was giving this all that I had because he wanted to fight the illness and I love him. It was when he started peeing straight blood that I decided to discuss if I should euthanize with his doctor. Doctor said something is wrong with his immune system and that he wasn't going to survive this no matter what so I forced myself to euthanize him. All I can think about is him looking back at me confused as they took him back to sedate him. It makes me physically sick. They brought him back so he could fall asleep on me. I feel like I killed my baby. I'm sobbing right now. Everyone says I did the right thing, but I don't know if he wanted to keep fighting. I didn't want to be selfish and let him suffer, but I don't feel like I did a good thing. I pick up his ashes tomorrow. It hurts so much and I feel so confused and conflicted. Did I do the right thing?

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ItsaZoo
Supporter in 2023

Post   » Tue Apr 25, 2023 8:23 pm


Leeah07, I’m so sorry you had to go through all this while being ill yourself. My sincere sympathy to you.

First of all, you did everything and more for Thistle. You worked with a vet, kept Thistle clean and fed, administered meds, and tried to keep him comfortable. That is a huge, time and energy-consuming task. Obviously, Thistle had multiple serious illnesses. Individually they may have been treatable, but all together they were overwhelming and insurmountable.

Our pets don’t think in terms of fighting for their lives or wondering whether or not they will survive. They only know they feel well, or they feel ill. Little Thistle was terribly ill and he was unable to recover. What you did spared him from suffering and allowed him to rest. He passed comfortably, without pain, knowing you were with him.

Many of us have been in this situation, and those of us with pets will probably be in this situation again. It’s natural to feel grief and guilt when you have to make a choice like this one, but you made the right choice.

When you feel sad, remember something about Thistle that makes you smile. Thistle had a happy life with you. Now it’s time take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

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Lynx
Celebrate!!!

Post   » Tue Apr 25, 2023 10:40 pm


I am so sorry for your loss. It is so easy to second guess yourself. I hope ItsaZoo's words are a comfort to you.

This topic is 20 years old so some of the links may no longer work. Mel, a veterinary technician, offers suggestions for remembering your pet.
https://www.guinealynx.info/forums/view ... hp?t=10320

Tell us what he was like, how he came to hold a place in your heart.

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Renonvsparky

Post   » Wed Apr 26, 2023 5:11 am


I've had to euthanize two of my guinea pigs that have passed away. The first one, my adorable Barry Jenkins (BJ for short) was tough. He had multiple issues going on all at once just like yours. The most serious one being overgrown molars that had curved inward and were pinning his tongue down and required removal. It was a secondary problem caused by his unwillingness to eat. I had been keeping his massive weight up with critical care for weeks. He was 6 years old and the vet felt that the surgery was far too risky and even if he survived it, we still had to address his appetite and lack of eating. Without molars, he would be living the rest of his life having to be fed by syringe. I didn't mind doing that for him, but when all of the factors were considered; age, physical condition and possible quality of life, both of the cavy vets were in agreement that it was best for him to end his suffering. My guilt was overwhelming and these words from Bookfan were very helpful:
Our vet pointed out to me once that pigs live in the moment - no before, no after. The whole last 1+ year has been piggy paradise for him and has erased (mentally) anything bad that came before.

The really hard part is for you. You can make an objective decision about whether it's time or not & whether he'll survive surgery & what his quality of life will be like. And of course you can't know any of that for sure.
My second euthanasia was Sammy and that one was even harder than BJ's. Sammy had a bladder stone that was misdiagnosed by an incompetent vet. I was new to Missouri and didn't know any good guinea pig vets capable of diagnosing and treating serious health problems with guinea pigs. I got some sound advice from this forum, including getting an X-ray to see if a bladder stone was causing his problems, but I couldn't get the vet to get one. By the time I finally convinced them to take the X-ray, it was too late to save him. He had already lost over a third of his body weight despite the critical care and could barely walk. The decision to put him down was not the hardest part. The guilt over his misdiagnosis was overwhelming and it still haunts me to this day, even though it's been almost a year and a half. Deep down, I know I did all that I could for both Sammy and BJ, but there's still the guilt.

You will get through this. The best thing I can suggest is to set up some kind of memorial. Some people put up a small plaque on a bench or somewhere nice, some have the remains cremated and keep them in an urn on display. I post memorials on this forum in the cavy chronicles and I put up a display with their urn. I also do a small post on the anniversary of each passing. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the loss and you have to find what helps you. I wish you all of the best and I'm very sorry for your loss.

You can read about Sammy's bladder stone here: https://www.guinealynx.info/forums/view ... hp?t=78276

BJ's is here and starts on page 17:
https://www.guinealynx.info/forums/view ... &start=192

Leeah07

Post   » Wed Apr 26, 2023 8:35 am


Your replies have helped tremendously. ItsaZoo, telling me that he wasn't thinking in terms of fighting for his life helped quite a bit. A vet once told me that they don't "fight" through illnesses like a more predatory animal like a cat or dog would and that it's a big reason why they don't survive illnesses. So I was thinking he was fighting and wanted to live. That's where a large portion of the guilt comes from. Maybe I was misunderstanding what that vet meant. But if he wasn't thinking that way and just knew he felt sick, then I feel a lot better about what I did. I was worried that he would be upset with me. Now I will have an easier time thinking of it as a mercy. You're picture of a the guinea pig for your user name looks a lot like Basil! After my beloved Basil passed, Thistle showed up and looked just like him except Thistle was a regular shorthair whereas Basil was a crested. They ended up having opposite personalities, but the pigs are allowed to have what ever personalities they want and I'll love them the same. Thistle was ornery and seemed to just tolerate humans lol he only got lovey and cuddly when he got sick. A hilarious thing he did was when he started oral antibiotics, he grabbed the syringe off of me a chucked it 😂 I was laughing so hard. Such a feisty little thing. He had no reservations about nibbling you in defiance if you were doing something he didn't like lol. I will reply to everyone else in a little bit! You all helped me tremendously! I have to get ready for a doctor appointment!

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Waddles
Party Poop-er

Post   » Wed Apr 26, 2023 11:30 am


I just finished this book "The Other Family Doctor" written by a vet. Highly recommend it though I would suggest having a box of tissues handy. That said, it really is an uplifting book with real life cases and many useful suggestions to deal with euthanasia, loss, grief among other things.

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-other- ... 0593466896

In the book, she mentions not only about a pet having a good life but also a "good death" and describes how she notices animals face death very differently from humans.
She also recommends writing your pet's obituary to cope with the grieving process and provides tips for doing so.

Leeah07

Post   » Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:26 pm


Okay I am back. Thank you, Lynx. I got him cremated and it comes with a clay paw print and ink paw prints. I got a frame and I am going to put it on the little table I bought for my Guinea pig Shiro's ashes and paw prints. They clipped some of Shiro's hair for me and put it in a little jar. I asked them to do that with Thistle but they forgot and I was too hysterical to check and see if they did. I actually work there as a kennel attendant so I can go anywhere in the building, but I didn't want to see them put the needle through his heart. Honestly, I was already traumatized enough. So I have stuff to set up a little shrine for him. It makes me feel better having his ashes back. I already have depression, anxiety, OCD and feel guilty about anything for no good reason. I knew the euthanasia would set some off those off a little too far.
RenonvsSparky, thank you. Your words from Bookfan helped me too. I'd like to think I made him happy. Yeah he had issues with his teeth too. They trimmed the front, the whole left side and cleaned out a weird pouch of food that formed behind his back teeth. He was very skinny, but I managed to put a little bit of weight on him. He still never ate as much food as I felt he should be eating. I'm sorry you had to go through something so similar. It's such a horrible feeling. I have 2 guinea pigs left- Salem (black crested) and Binx (black shorthair). They were friends that I had adopted for Thistle when Shiro passed away. Thank you for your kind words. Posting on this forum has been a wonderful decision. I knew piggy parents would have the answer.
Waddles, I love your name and I will check that book out, but maybe in a few days since it may cause tears. Crying triggers my migraines and I've been doing it nearly every night. That's a good point though. He might view death differently than me. Thank you for replying!

RubySimon

Post   » Thu Apr 27, 2023 9:32 am


I am so sorry for your loss. Thistle was a lucky guy to have a pet parent like you. The others have said it so well. You did what was best for him. And that is truly unselfish and loving. Take care of yourself and your other little piggies. Hugs.

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daisymay
Supporter 2016-2021

Post   » Sun May 21, 2023 9:36 am


I am so sorry for the lost of Thistle. You did all you could and were with him right to the end. That must have a real comfort for him. I how ever disagree about piggies fighting. My Jessie lived till 8 and was syringe fed for over 5 years. She went through hell and back. If she had given up then I would have too. But we fought all the way.

It depends on the piggy. He knew he was loved and he loved you. When lonely look into your heart and there you'll find him. In time memories will bring a smile instead of tears. Sending hugs your way!

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